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"Off the Top of My Head" - Jim Frain

Do 'Nice Guys Finish Last'? I Don't Think So

You know what they say, "nice guys finish last."

Really? I don't think they finish last, unless they want to.

In fact, a great friend of mine recently told me that the one thing that stood out with me was that I was "nice."

Nice? What does that really mean. And, does one wake up every morning with the decision to be "nice"? I don't think so. But, I do believe that "being nice" is good for you. To say the very least, it's been good for me during my 63 years on Mother Earth.

I believe that being nice to others is good for all of us. There are even personal benefits from being nice which even motivates us to do it more often, even when someone cuts us off in traffic.

Instead of assuming that the driver who cut you off in traffic is an insane jerk worthy of giving them the bird, you give them something that is easy.  The benefit of the doubt.  It's likely that they did not see you, they were running late for work or most probably they just made a mistake.

It's much easier to smile and just let it go. Just be nice.

Being nice is easy. It means that you volunteer to make your neighborhood and city a better place to live. O'Fallon has thousands of volunteers and they are all nice people.

Nice is a small four letter word but it has large implications.

I believe that being "nice" is good for you:

* People like being around nice people - We all want friends that are kind, giving and considerate. Right? Being nice provides us with friends that will be there when we need them.

* Kindness makes us confident and optimistic - Giving of yourself to others is a great way to build a positive self-image. Random acts of kindness helps to make us to gain the confidence that we can make a difference in people's lives.

* Niceness makes for a much better feeling about yourself - It's better to give than to receive, right? I was referred to recently in what was meant to be a sarcastic statement when I was told that "I make him feel warm and fuzzy because I live in O'Fallon"...Thanks!  I take this as a compliment, not as a cut.

* People will return your acts of kindness - We all face big challenges, disappointments and losses in our lives. During our times of need, we find that returning the favor is the norm from other people that you have been kind and nice to. Stephen Covey calls this the emotional bank account. We should all keep this account full.

* Good deeds adds a new meaning and significance to your life - Donating your money or time to a good cause, helping a family in need or visiting a friend in the hospital makes your life much more special to you and to those your help. Making the world around us just a little better is a wonderful accomplishment.

* Volunteering will help you find your hidden talents  - Necessity is the mother of invention and putting yourself in a position to help others will bring out strengths in you that never surfaced before.

* Relieve your stress by doing good  - Being nice and doing good deeds reduces much of the stress in your life. It generates great feelings within you and creates a high level of satisfaction.

* Helping others makes you more thankful  - Assisiting others in their time of need points out to us how good we really have it. 

* Being nice creates a great sense of family and community - You meet all kinds of people when your spend your time helping. You will connect more closely with your community and gain a fondness for others that you never dreamed possible.

* Forget your troubles when you engage in geneous acts -  We all have challenges in our life that overwhelm us. Helping others is a distraction from these challenges and actually dimishes the problems when you see the problems that other people are facing.

There are some amazing volunteers just in our City of O'Fallon. They have given hundreds of thousands of hours over the years to make O'Fallon a better place to live.

Our challenge should always be to increase our efforts to be nice. You'll see that "being nice" will make a big difference in your attitude and happiness.

Don Y

5:33 pm on Thursday, May 31, 2012

Nice guys finish last because they put everyone else first.

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Steve Pokin

7:47 pm on Thursday, May 31, 2012

I read this story and I thought, 'Hey, he's right.' And then I was going to turn off my computer. But then I thought, 'No, I'm going to do something nice by telling Jim that, yes, he is a nice guy, and that he's also a pretty good writer.' Thanks for the column.

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Mike Nunnery

10:53 am on Friday, June 1, 2012

Nice - the dictionary defines this as pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. Any and all of these words describe the author of this posting! Jim is not rich in terms of personal wealth. Jims is not rich in terms of possessions. Jim is rich in abundant characteristics that make him a leading citizen of O'Fallon and I dare say that he could have been a member of President Bush's 1000 Points of Light program! Nice is a small four letter word but it has large implications. Those implications point directly at folks like Jim Frain who don't always want the limelight, but continue to pour out their good works so that others might feel better about themselves, so that others might re-enter the framework we call society and actually participate in activities for the better of that society and finally these implications give rise to the fact that folks like Jim Frain captured the essence of the message - "A happy, generous nature, a friendly spirit too - these are the gifts Saint Patrick has surely given you - and may every day to come bring a generous part of all the happy things in life that keep joy in your heart". Truly "Nice Guys Don't Finish Last"!

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Jim Frain

11:26 am on Friday, June 1, 2012

I am blessed with special friends...Don Yarber, Steve Pokin, Mike Nunnery....Thanks for your comments. I will be "real nice" to all 3 of you now. LOL!

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Rich Pope

4:49 pm on Friday, June 1, 2012

Absolutely! However, it matters more what you do when no one is watching than what you do when all eyes are upon you. If a person is only nice when others are paying attention, it's of no value.

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Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Yosef

6:25 pm on Friday, June 1, 2012

The most meritorious level of charity is helping someone to become self-supporting.

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Jim Frain

8:33 pm on Friday, June 1, 2012

The "impersonal hand" of a government hand-out can never come close to the "helping and caring hand" of a friendly neighbor....The wonderful neighbors of O'Fallon have made a major difference in the lives of many residents of our city.

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